The Memory of Your Mom Reading You the "Cat in the Hat" Each Night Is Called ________ Memory.

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This is a collection of the best jokes and nonsense from Wikipedia:Bad jokes and other deleted nonsense. The criterion for a joke getting on this page is simple: at least one Wikipedian actually found it skilful.

How can I destroy Sumatra? [edit]

From Wikipedia:Reference desk-bound/Scientific discipline.

I want to destroy the island of Sumatra in Republic of indonesia. What is the best and quickest way to do this, with toll as low as possibble? Thanks.

Practice you mean "destroy" as in "kill all the people", "level all the buildings", or "submerge the entire island into the sea"?

Do your ain homework. Students from Supervillian Colleges are also included on our Reference Desk rules.

Incidentally, you might start on our page on Sumatra?

Of form the cheapest (though stiil astronomically expensive) and about humanitarian (though still environmentally disastrous) method is to landfill the Strait of Malacca, which would forever destroy the island of Sumatra, making it instead a peninsula of continental Asia. One would, though, desire to dig the Thai Canal get-go, equally the consequences for international shipping would also be pretty serious.

Y'all demand a secret base hidden in a hollow volcano, loyal henchstaff, and a hugeass light amplification by stimulated emission of radiation weapon. And most important: pump a dozen bullets into the hero commencement, and only then expound your diabolical plans at great length to his still-warm twitching corpse.

Information technology actually came very close to happening 73,000 years ago - expect at Lake Toba and the Toba catastrophe theory. And don't forget the 2004 Indian Ocean earthquake, either, which hit Sumatra hardest of all.

Dude! Y'all accept foiled all my carefully laid plans. Top Job is going to make short work of yous.

Some suggestions are in How to destroy the Earth.

Trade them Paris Hilton for rice.

From The Very Hungry Caterpillar [edit]

The Very Hungry Caterpillar (ISBN 0399226907) is a children'due south book written by Eric Carle and originally published in 1969. It has proven to be highly pop and has been praised for its use of like shooting fish in a barrel-to-read words which makes information technology good for didactics young children to read. The story has been translated into over 50 languages and, every bit of 2005, a re-create is sold roughly every 57 seconds (even faster now). Information technology was featured on Sesame Street in the early on 1990s.

The book contains 225 words and large, colourful illustrations. Information technology follows a caterpillar every bit it munches its style through a diverseness of edibles such as ice cream, salami, watermelon and a lollipop before it finally pupates and emerges as a butterfly. The story teaches the life bike of a butterfly, counting to 5, the names of the days of the week, and about food. Various interpretations have been placed upon it - for case, information technology is seen as a transformation story in Kingdom of cambodia and an anti-capitalist work in the former East Germany.

The original title of the volume was to have been A Week with Willi Worm, featuring a bookworm named Willi. However, Carle's editor advised that a green worm would not make a very likable protagonist. George West. Bush has expressed his fondness for the book, and at that place are rumours of the movie rights having been sold for £1 million.

{{spoiler}}

Day 1 [edit]

The principal grapheme is established. The hungry caterpillar is led to eat a single reddish apple tree.

Day 2 [edit]

The Caterpillar, unsatisfied with its single ruddy apple tree is driven on to eat 2 yellow pears.

Day 3 [edit]

We see the character devour iii purple plums. This affiliate is one to call back about. Are these plums in anyway symbolic? So far in the volume, the caterpillar has eaten a fair share of food, merely nosotros all know that a caterpillar weighing near 5g, having a length of iv-6cm eating 3 plums that counterbalance nearly 100g each, is across the realms of possible biological science.

This chapter certainly makes us question the style in which nosotros think about the character. Whether this is to exist taken literally or as a symbolic gesture is a matter of the reader's choice.

Solar day 4 [edit]

The caterpillar eats 4 strawberries (which is much more possible than affiliate 3)

Twenty-four hour period five [edit]

If you were non convinced by chapter 3, then when you see the caterpillar eats v whole oranges, yous may be tempted to put down the volume, however, this is all a build up to the ending.

Day half dozen [edit]

On this day, the concluding threads of possible reality are flushed abroad as the caterpillar devours its mode through every known form of confectionery. This is questionable on multiple fronts, such equally:

• How does a simple caterpillar learn the money needed to buy such big amounts of food? Does she steal the food? If so, how?
• In a similar style to affiliate 3, how does a caterpillar ingest all these foods?

Nosotros shall never know.

24-hour interval 7 [edit]

The caterpillar eats one, single leaf. Nothing more, nothing less. This penultimate chapter is probably the most beautiful and meaning so far. One single leafage. What the author is doing here is showing the dissimilarity. It seems every bit though the caterpillar has eaten all information technology mayhap can. All the apples, pears, plums, strawberries, oranges, cakes, muffins, eclairs, and ice creams in the world, but it has yet to swallow its most sustainable food source.

Final Chapter [edit]

In this climactic ending of the book, the caterpillar, cocoons itself to come out as a beautiful butterfly. The hungry caterpillar is hungry no more than.

Farther reading (and watching) for enjoyers of this volume:

• A day in the life of Ivan Denisovich by Alexander Solzhenitsyn
• Ridley Scott'southward Conflicting
• The picture of Dorian Grey by Oscar Wilde

From "Low-cal Bulb" [edit]

A common misconception about low-cal bulbs is that they emit light, when, in fact, they absorb darkness. This myth is generally spread by hardcore Christians, although the Catholic Church, and most Protestant churches have taken no opinion on the consequence. The Eastern Orthodox Church has sided with the scientists, and its followers tend to support them on the issue. What the supporters of the emission theory use every bit proof is that low-cal bulbs get hot when they are on. Thomas Edison's associate Charles Dickson explained in an early edition of Pop Mechanics that the heat comes from the friction of the darkness inbound the glass. Dickson even referred to an interview with the New York Times where Edison explains the darkness assimilation. Unfortunately, the issue with the interview has been lost over time, so in that location is no proof that Edison canonical this theory. Nonetheless, Scientists almost unanimously agree with the assimilation theory, so information technology is considered scientific fact. This does not make the emission theory incorrect, only it falls outside of the realm of scientific discipline.

Saddam Hussein is a chimp [edit]

Saddam is a member of WikiProject Chimpanzee Wikipedians, a WikiProject which aims to requite humans equally many chimpanzee concrete and behavioral qualities equally possible.

WARNING! Saddam is not a chimp.

Moophasa [edit]

Moophasa (or m00phasa) can exist used used equally a Noun, Adjective or Verb

Examples:

You lot stupid moophasa! - Noun (used negatively)

That is (and then) m00phasa! - Describing word (used either positively or negatively depending on the situation)

m00phasa this! - Verb (positive/negative)

What does it mean? [edit]

Information technology is derived from the graphic symbol Mufasa of The King of beasts Male monarch (Disney) and is spelled phonetically, only the pregnant is not related to the animated character. It tin can be considered internet slang (and is L33t) merely is sometimes spoken. It is non yet a 'household' word, however there are several small groups of people circulating it, and so information technology could soon become extremely popular. The apply of '00' instead of 'oo' is used to emphasise the statement's signal as with other examples of internet slang (east.g. 'n00b'). m00phasa is mainly used in a positive context, still, some employ it negatively.

Information technology is considered to be strictly not-n00b territory. So-chosen n00bs are not considered worthy of using it as it puts slap-up dishonour upon the most sacred word. In addition, the term m00ph454 means exactly the same affair, with the leet taken 'to the max'.

Etymology of the give-and-take [edit]

1. Mufasa (a grapheme from The King of beasts King).
2. m00fasa (leet variant of original discussion, with new meaning).
3. m00phasa (Further evolution of leet spelling).
4. m00ph454 (leet taken 'to the max').

From Liberal Political party of Canada and Conservative Party of Canada [edit]

The Liberal Party of Canada article has been popular with politically-minded vandals recently. They're sight gags, so here you lot go:

• Revision equally of 14:10, Jan sixteen, 2006
  
• Revision as of 18:55, January fourteen, 2006

The Conservative Party commodity has too been a target:

• ... , another Ontario MP, compared abortion to terrorism, having had feel in both areas. [1]

Strings McPickens [edit]

Strings McPickens was an American folk hero and banjo player, renowned for his skill on the musical instrument and his acts as a vigilante of the Southern States.

Early Years [edit]

Due to the fact that his parents were obsessive record keepers, every bit were almost of the McPickenses of Salt Lick, Kentucky, we know for certain that Strings was born at precisely 7:53 AM on the morning of February 2, 1822, in Common salt Lick. Young Strings was given a banjo on his offset birthday, and reportedly played a called-for hot riff the second it was placed in his easily.

Afterward this point, the legend of Strings McPickens, the "Boy Bluegrass Prodigy" spread around the state of Kentucky. Unfortunately for the young McPickens, his underprotective parents were short on coin and sold him to a traveling circus at the age of six. Strings was required to play banjo music for the traveling entourage, and it is hither that he honed his Banjo-skills and his sense for justice. Strings as well became an apprentice to a Japanese immigrant ninja, and by the historic period of 15, was a fully trained ninja, schooled in the art of assassination by fists and 12-bar bluegrass scales. Information technology is of notation that he also developed an affinity for honey-marmalade sandwiches.

Strings McPickens eventually became the star of the traveling circus, drawing crowds from all parts of Kentucky. A young Abraham Lincoln declared Strings "a damn good bear witness, and worth the money too."

A Sense of Justice [edit]

At the age of 18, Strings McPickens quit the circus and returned to his honey home of Table salt Lick, only to find that the local river had been diverted by an agricultural conglomerate to provide for an upstate canal. Needless to say, Strings was enraged. He turned to his only solace, the banjo. He played his favorite tune, "Straw Doll Hootenanny" and of a sudden, the refrain of the song acquired a sort of sonic blast, which destroyed the dam on the river and sent information technology back flowing on its original path.

The townspeople, in a land of torpor from the lack of water, rejoiced. Strings was hailed as the local hero, and when asked why he chose to play the banjo, said "I guess information technology was my overwhelming sense of justice."

Strings realized at this point that he needed to spread the news about h2o waste material, and set out one time once more from Salt Lick to other parts of the land that were edifice canals and dams and the like.

1840-1865 [edit]

In the antebellum years, Strings McPickens traveled extensively in the region from Kentucky to Alabama, proclaiming the need for water preservation with "righteous good banjo stylin'" as was said by the Mobile Bugle-Reporter in an commodity dated xv Oct 1844. Strings too composed heavily during this time (including such gems equally "Crawfish Creek Reel", "H to the Ootenanny" and "Square Dance In My Pants"), and was so prolific that James K. Polk invited McPickens to the White Firm in 1845 for a jam in the Oval Part.

In 1853, a series of incidents in which water was stolen from wells in Knox County, Tennessee prompted Strings to travel in that location, banjo in hand, to end something which was, according to a letter of the alphabet he wrote, "totally not absurd." McPickens arrived there, but was outsmarted by the fiendish villains; he was tricked into giving his banjo away in a local saloon, thus being left weaponless. The water stealers thought they had constitute Strings' achilles heel, however Strings was born with a deformity that left him without heels, thus this was an impossibility. Also, Strings was trained in the arts of ninja, and succeeded in taking out all of the water stealers, and resupplied the wells, on the stipulation that water not be wasted.

Even so, tension was spreading throughout the state, and it wasn't near h2o; information technology was about States' Rights. As the American Ceremonious War broke out, Strings McPickens transferred to Canada. There, he met John MacDonald, future leader of Canada, at a tavern in Ottowa. They shared a few drinks and so parted ways. After becoming slightly inebriated, McPickens fell into a wooden crate full of shipments to Great Britain. It wasn't until 3 months later that McPickens awoke in a warehouse in Plymouth. Unsure of what country he was in, Strings began plucking the banjo and was greeted with jeers, i of which was along the lines of: "You crazy gars, information technology'southward 1864 and we're already into the Strokes."

Notwithstanding, not all Britons were part of the country's trendy music scene. Queen Victoria took a liking to Strings' bluegrass banjo, and invited him to Buckingham Palace to exist knighted and presented with a his famous BANJO OF Gilded. He and so returned to America, just in time to be the opening act for Grant and Lee at Appomattox.

Growing Fame & The Bear Incident [edit]

After the Ceremonious State of war, Strings decided it was fourth dimension for a cross land tour, which he performed in from 1866-7. Bluegrass was at its height of popularity, and Strings was never better.

In 1868, Strings decided he would quit touring, and live a life of relaxation and leisure on a Mississippi steamboat until the cease of his days.

Unfortunately, information technology was also in 1868 that the infamous Bear Uprising took place in western North Carolina, eventually coming to the point where hordes of angry bears would raid frontier villages. The governor of Northward Carolina, remembering from course schoolhouse days that a grizzly was always a sucker for a little fleck o' bluegrass, summoned Strings to save his state.

The trail led to the King of the Bears, one Harley IronClaw, who bided his time in a cave deep in the Slap-up Smokey Mountains. McPickens followed a trail of dearest and sandwich crusts to the gigantic cave of the mammoth acquit, and entered. He played a few echoey banjo chords, but the acquit had outsmarted him; he had worn earplugs. Of class, Strings couldn't play ninjas with a behave, so he was at a loss.

Strings was lucky that he hadn't eaten dejeuner that twenty-four hours; it was still in his pocket, a honey marmalade sandwich. Bears love marmalade, simply the only affair they dear more than marmalade is honey. The Rex of the Bears smelled the delicious nectar, and made a mess of the sandwich. His earplugs vicious out, and Strings let loose a stunning bluegrass medley, thereby stunning the bear.

Strings took the captured comport all the way back to the Governor's Mansion in Raleigh. Unfortunately, Strings hadn't killed the massive bear, simply had rather sedated it. Information technology came to life in the Governor'due south office, and went on an angry rampage, killing the dear Governor and two of his aides. The deport left the building and escaped into the horizon.

Strings was reviled in the press, despite his stunning display of cunning in capturing the behave. He retreated ashamedly to his estate in Southern Kentucky, swilling in an abundance of bourbons and whiskeys. Stings made no contacts with the outside world for ten years, beginning in 1868, though there were reports of banjos echoing through the forests around his dwelling house.

In 1878 Strings was summoned to north Texas to spread bluegrass among the Native Americans there, as a role of a process of cultural assimilation. While most tribes reacted poorly to this, the Comanches readily adopted Strings songs as part of their religious catechism, and named their reservation later him. Strings was first to meet an upwards plough in his life, and throughout the 1880s was asked to perform several concerts and invitee speaking gigs.

At his heart, however, was justice, and throught the menstruum Strings saved several local towns from the encroachment of big business.

Decline And Fall [edit]

Past the 1890s, bluegrass was fast being replaced by ragtime as the music of choice. Stings McPickens was regularly shunned past the press and his own statesmen. His actions for saving the towns of Southward Kentucky were kickoff to be largely ignored, and his BANJO OF GOLD was condign slightly out of tune.

By 1900, the advent of a new folk hero, Maple-Foliage Mortimer, had completed the eclipse of Strings McPickens. The last public advent Strings made was on Apr 15, 1901 at the Bowling Light-green Municipal City Hall playing the old-fourth dimension favorite, "Straw Doll Hootenanny." After this, McPickens walked into the sunset, never to be seen over again.

It has been said that Strings stumbled upon the Fountain of Youth in north Alabama, or that rock and roll acted equally a sort of rejuvenation for Strings, and that he lives on, whether in body or through spirit. We may never know.

While most people admit that Strings McPickens may be gone for adept, if you enquire any old-timer, they'll tell you, if you mind very closely, deep in the Kentucky wood at midnight on certain June evenings, yous might just here the plaintive refrains of a alone banjo, playing "Straw Doll Hootenanny." And maybe, just maybe, that's good onetime Strings McPickens, still pickin' away at them thar banjo.

From Baha'i humor [edit]

The Bahá'í Religion is an independent globe religion and information technology seems reasonable to wait it to possess a body of jokes and other examples of sense of humour, as other religions do. This page will try to certificate this.

The Pioneer [edit]

Necessary background:

1. Bahá'í pioneers are not missionaries, but unpaid volunteers who move to another region which lacks Bahá'ís.
2. A Local Spiritual Associates (LSA) must take a minimum of nine adult Bahá'ís. Bahá'ís have been known to move in order to allow various LSA's to continue functioning.
3. The "Remover of Difficulties" is a short prayer revealed by the Báb, it is one of the most commonly known Bahá'í prayers.

A Bahá'í pioneer was trespassing through the jungle of some tropical land, when suddenly he plant himself surrounded by naked men with bones through their noses, waving spears. They tied him upwardly and threw him in a stew-pot, so started piling firewood underneath. Drums sounded. In agony the pioneer began reciting the "remover of difficulties" prayer. All of a sudden the drumming stopped. 1 cannibal looked at another and said "Hey guys! I think we've just found the ninth member of our Local Spiritual Assembly!"

Miscellaneous ii-liners [edit]

Necessary groundwork:

1. Bahá'í bookstores sell numerous t-shirts, bumper stickers, and buttons with messages advocating earth peace, an end to racism, "1 world", and so on.
2. The Bahá'ís see their sacred history as beginning with the Bábí motility (1844-1852), though recognizing it to be a split religion from their ain.

Q. What did they have before Bahá'í buttons were invented?

A. Bábí pins! (sounds like "bobby pins")

Necessary background:

Bahá'u'lláh's writings are called "tablets" (lawh).

Q. Why don't Bahá'ís get headaches?

A. Because Bahá'u'lláh gave them Tablets!

Necessary background:

`Abdu'l-Bahá, the son of Bahá'u'lláh, traveled through Europe and the U.s. shortly earlier World War I, giving talks on Bahá'í themes. He is referred to reverently every bit "the Master."

Q. How did `Abdu'l-Bahá finance his trip across America and Europe?

A. With Primary-Card!

Columbus [edit]

The post-obit story is from Vignettes

'`Abdu'50-Bahá told a Bahá'í to fix to go to India to teach the Organized religion. So he prepared past studying Indian civilization, languages, etc. But at the last minute, the Primary changed his mind and decided to send him to America.

"Simply I thought I was going to India," said the Pioneer.

`Abdu'fifty-Bahá answered, "So did Columbus."

Inbound Heaven [edit]

Necessary Background: Huqúqu'lláh (literally "the correct of God", Arabic حقوق الله) is a voluntary Bahá'í religious wealth tax analogous to the Islamic Zakat. In this joke information technology is meaning mainly for being difficult to spell.

A Christian, Muslim, and Bahá'í all die at the same time. They come upon the gates of Heaven, and the affections Gabriel greets them and says "To enter Sky you must respond ane question correctly. If you get information technology right, you lot can enter. If you get information technology wrong, y'all will fall into a peppery abyss."

The Christian steps up, and Gabriel asks, "Who is the near contempo Manifestation of God on earth?" The Christian confidently responds "Jesus Christ, the Son of God" Of a sudden the basis opens and swallows him upwardly.

The Muslim steps upwardly, and Gabriel asks, "Who is the almost recent Manifestation of God on globe?" The Muslim confidently responds "Muhammad, the Apostle of God" Suddenly the ground opens and swallows him upward.

The Bahá'í steps up, and Gabriel asks, "Spell Huqúqu'lláh."

Sinking Ship [edit]

A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim were out sailing on a small boat, when they got defenseless upward in a storm and the boat capsized. The Christian began to pray out loud, "Beloved Lord, please send this infernal Muslim to his death and salvage me." The Muslim also began to pray out loud, "Oh God, grant your favor on me, and allow this wretched Christian drown in the sea." When they asked the Jew why he wasn't praying, he responded, "I trust God volition answer your prayers."

Travelling Teachers [edit]

Ii Bahá'í travelling teachers were in a modest town, looking for a place to stay. The simply place for rent was the basement of an old business firm that had a reputation for being haunted. They took the place and moved in. The neighbors were curious to meet how long they would exist able to stay in the haunted basement. A week passed, then two. The travelling teachers showed no signs of moving out. Finally, someone came and asked them how they could bear to stay, and weren't they agape of the ghosts? "Oh no," i of the teachers replied, "We're Bahá'ís." "What does being Bahá'ís accept to do with information technology?" the questioner inquired. "Well, you lot run into, Bahá'u'lláh said, 'Fear not abasement...'"

The Veteran [edit]

Necessary Background: Bahá'ís do not drink alcoholic beverages.

An old WWII vet went to his local watering pigsty once a week on Fridays and ordered three beers. He did this every week for some years, and became a familiar sight to the bartender. 1 evening, curiosity got the best of the bartender, and he asked the old man, "why exercise you come here and go three beers every single Friday?". The old man laughed and said "well, when I was in WWII, my ii best buddies and I agreed that wherever we were, we would get three beers every Friday- one for each of the states. That style, we always call up one another." The bartender smiled, thanked the onetime man for the explanation, and said goodbye to him as he left the bar. The side by side week, the old man walked in as usual, climbed onto his favorite barstool, and said howdy to the bartender, who'd already set aside three beers. "Really," said the veteran, "this week, I will but exist needing ii beers." The bartender was stunned by the change in routine and stuttered "b-b-merely why only ii? Please don't tell me i of your buddies died." With a smiling on his face, the quondam man replied, "No no, it'south because I'm a Baha'i now!"

From Wikipedia:Vandalism [edit]

Vandalism is any addition, deletion, multiplication, division (past zero), or change to content made in a deliberate endeavour to compromise the integrity of the encyclopedia, what piddling there is. The nearly mutual type of vandalism is the replacement of existing text with obscenities, page blanking, or the insertion of other wholly irrelevant content, no affair how funny and awesome it is.

Comcast (religion) [edit]

The ruby C of Comcast, along with the name of both the religion and the god, Comcast

Overview [edit]

With an estimated 3 followers, Comcast is arguably the smallest organized religion with more than than i follower in the globe. It is derived from the prophet of Comcast, Dylan Clark, along with an acquaintance of Dylan, hearing Comcast talk to him in a locker room of Wayside, a Racquetball, Tennis and Swimming club in Marlboro, Massachusetts. The holy book of Comcast is called the Handbook.

Followers of the Comcast organized religion are known as Comcastinites.

Denominations [edit]

Currently, the just belief denominated from Comcast is the Church of Comcast itself. It is believed that there volition be more every bit the religion becomes more popular.

Beliefs [edit]

At that place are quite a few beliefs of Comcast.

Promises of Comcast [edit]

All Comcastinites believe that Comcast has three absolute promises for all followers of the religion: all followers will get complimentary movies, Television shows and eternal bliss for life. Another small-scale promises also be, such as high speed internet existence usable the day you obtain it.

The Afterlife [edit]

The conventionalities of the afterlife of Comcast is equanimous of two areas: the Tetranity Sky, where Comcastinites go, and the Outsider Hell, where non-believers are sent.

The Tetranity Heaven is composed of three areas: High Speed Cyberspace to the north, DVR to the east, Cablevision to the south and On Demand to the westward. Spirits that dwell in the Tetranity Sky can go between each department freely. Many believe that the Tetranity Heaven is a city on clouds, with TVs in each department but High Speed Internet, where TVs are replaces with computers.

The Outsider Hell is just 1 section. It is run by the demons TiVo and Verizon, who are eternally trapped in the fiery depths of Outsider Hell along with non-believers of Comcast. Many believe that the Outsider Hell, in appearance, is a peppery cave with lots of torture chambers with computers with slow Verizon Broadband internet and the hellish TiVo DVR.

A drawing of the future Comcast Middle, drawn by Comcast himself

Worship and practices [edit]

Every Friday, Comcastinites must meditate for at least ten minutes in a row. The meditation stance is unique: the correct mitt must be in a position equally if it were holding a Comcast TV/Cable remote, and the other as if it were gripping popcorn over a basin of it. You must permit Comcast to stream Comcast cable or On Demand into your encephalon, then you can see the shows and movies. An alternate way of meditating, involving Comcast High Speed Internet streaming....

From Al queda number 3 [edit]

Known as "al Qaeda's #3 Human being" in highly expert nomenclature which is incomprehensible to anyone except for those in the field of 'Pataphysics.

Mythical creature, such every bit the unicorn or bunyip. In official U.S. parlance, unremarkably mentioned past the government or state run telly "journalists", the capture or killing of this creature normally is seen as a milestone and turning point in the state of war on terror (encounter iraqi elections). The "al qaeda'south #3 man" position is much like the hapless drummer position in seminal stone ring Spinal Tap, a thankless position which has an extremely loftier turnover rate. Al Qaeda #1 man, of course is Osama bin Laden, while #ii man is Ayman al-Zawahiri. The reason for choosing #3, is that information technology sounds very high ranking, while depression plenty for the full general public to not ask whatever questions virtually the person'due south bodily identity prior to the announcement of his "demise". In societies with a functional investigative journalism apparatus (sometimes known as democracies), the thought of a repeatedly killed and captured "al Qaeda's #3 Man" would be ludicrous. Nevertheless, in plutocracies such as the one-time Us of America, this is very hands acheived, specially during superbowl or some other merkin secular holiday.

Listing of former Al Qaeda #iii men [edit]

With the exception of ane operative, the al quaeda #3 men have all been biological males.

• Paul Lynde Sheikh Mohammed 1254-1776 Captured in Islamic republic of pakistan
• Fatty Arbuckle Sheikh Mohammed 1334-956 (Tetrarch) Killed by Predator
• J.R. Ewing Sheikh Mohammed 1978-1991 Captured in Pakistan
• Patrick Ewing Sheikh Mohammed 1952- Killed by Predator
• Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem Sheikhs Mohammeds TBA Captured in Islamic republic of pakistan
• Maurice Chevalier Sheikh Mohammed 1939?-1982 Killed by Predator
• Aimee Semple McPherson Sheikh Mohammed 1776-1812 Killed past Predator
• Roy Rogers Sheikh Mohammed 1666-2240 Killed by Predator
• Keith Moon Sheikh Mohammed 410-344 B.C.E. Cancelled by Netorks due to poor gustation
• Bon Scott Sheikh Mohammed 2360-9000 Captured in Pakistan
• Neb Lumbergh Sheikh Mohammed 1982-1976 Killed by Predator and then subsequently Captured in Pakistan
• Joseph Pujol, Dipl. Ing., AKA Le Pétomane Sheikh Mohammed 1896-1897 (impeached) Captured in Islamic republic of pakistan
• Jor-El Sheikh Mohammed, July one 1929 - August 15, 1929 Killed in joint Fedayeen/Teamsters atack on kryptonite
• Abu Faraj al-Libbi 2003 Captured in Pakistan
• Saif al-Adel 2003 Killed by Predator
• Khalid Sheikh Mohammed 2003 Killed by Predator
• Mohammed Sheikh Mohammed 2002 Killed by Predator
• Papa Smurf 1933- Killing by Predator planned, is withal on copy editor's desk
• Queen Mum 1850-1899 Ousted when it was discovered she was really a human by Prince Albert - this subsequently 40 years of marriage!
• Max Rebo 10 minutes ago - iv minutes agone -- Withal officially al-Qaeda's ambassador of goodwill and designated commuter.
• Abu Hamza Rabia 2005 Killed by Predator Okay, we didn't make this 1 upward, the state department did.

• Shecky Sheikh Mohammed 2005 We desire to meet what the fans say before we kill him off

• Gary Dell'Abate, Ph.D. 1929 Career destroyed by U.S. General Simon Cowell in 1866 in retaliation for the American Civil State of war, never fully recovered. To add together insult to injury; or injury to insult, he was Killed by Predator in Pakistan
• Gary Glitter 1532-Present Living in a posh Camp X-ray satellite campus (designed by Halston in 1975) in Bahrain with fellow children'due south entertainer Michael Jackson

• H.R.H. Stephen Hawking unkwnown tenure. dismissed later on information technology had been discovered he participated in a panty raid with fellow pirate Gabriel García Márquez

• RoboCop 1492 Annoyed by Predator, afterward died of old historic period in Pakistan

• Abu Ali al-Harithi Sometime during the Gay 90s or the roaring 20s. But signed upward as a gag during a drunken rampage. When he woke upwardly the next day, not only was he al-Qaeda'southward #three, he besides had an cruddy tattoo of the words "Smile now, cry afterward" on his left buttock. This is a definite no-no in islamist circles. Currently resides in Austria-Republic of hungary with live-in manny (male nanny)

Characteristics [edit]

al-Qaeda #iii

Alignment: Commonly chaotic evil

Hit Dice: 6d8+36 (63 hp)

Blazon: Ooze

Attack: Hook +9 melee (1d6+6)

Abilities: Str 23, Dex 14, Con -, Int 1, Wis 1, Cha one

Skills: Heed +5, Spot +half dozen

'"CR:'" Ranging from 1 to 50.

See also [edit]

• Bogeyman
• Jabberwock
• Loch Ness Monster
• Griffin
• Basilisk
• Archaeoraptor
• Jersey Devil
• Liger
• Bigfoot
• Piltdown Homo
• Driblet bear
• Santa Claus
• Cryptozoology
• La Llorona

External links [edit]

Net al-Qaeda Bullshit Generator: [2]

Borgism [edit]

A borgism a type of joke that usually follows the format of "I am (celebrity) of borg, you will be ________"

Examples [edit]

"I am Jesse Jackson of Borg. Resistance is moot."

"I am Ross Perot of Borg. Resistance is similar trying to maintain your crops when you've got a swarm of locusts coming at you and flooding like we had in Iowa this yr. In that location is simply no fashion a farmer can stand up against such peachy odds. That'south the same manner information technology'll exist for you."

"I am Bush sr. of Borg. You will be alloyed into a kinder, gentler Borg."

"I am a salesman of Borg. Y'all volition buy Amway."

"I am Al Gore of Borg. Y'all volition be environated."

"I am Bill Clinton of Borg. You will exist taximilated."

"Hi-ho! This is Kermit of Borg!"

"I am Homer simpson of Borg. You will exist..... oooH! Doughnuts!"

"I am Heisenborg. You will probably be assimilated."

"I am Popeye of Borg. You will exist askimilgrated."

"I am Elmer Fudd of Borg. Pwepawe to be aswimiwated."

"I am Porky pig of Borg. Yous will be every bit-due south-sim, as-southward-sim, oh forget information technology".

"I am Richard Simmons of Borg. You will be ASS-stimulated."

"I am Hugh of Borg. We want to assimilate Troi. Geordi is our friend. He can watch."

"Yoda of Borg am I. Futile is resistance. Digest you, I will."

"I am Pat Sajak of Borg. R_sist_nc_ is futil_."

"I am Alex Trebek of Borg. For $200, it starts with "R" and is futile."

"I am Barney of Borg. Beingness alloyed is fun."

"I am Kirk of Borg, I...WILL......assimilate....Y'all"

"Daffy Duck of Borg "Yooouuuuuuuuuuu'rrrrrre Irrelivant!""

"Borg, James Borg. Vodka martini, gin is irrelevant."

"Digest me tender" - Elvis of Borg.

"I am Muhammad of Borg. You lot volition be Islamized!"

"We all sleep in a single subroutine". --The Borgtles, minus 2 of 4

"Elmer Fudd of Borg: Hunting wabbits is iwwelevant".

"I am Mr. Rogers of Borg, can you say assimilate?"

"I am dyslexia of Borg. Your ass will be laminated"

"I am Sailor Moon of Borg. In the name of honey and justice, you will be assimilated."

"I am Darth Vader of Borg. I am your male parent. And your mother. And your uncle. Resistance is futile."

"I am Luke Skywalker of Borg. I am a Borg like my father before me."

"I am Bart Simpson of Borg. It'southward futile to have a moo-cow,man!"

"I am Scotty of Borg.I canna change the laws of Physics,ca'pin!Resistance is futile"

"I am Doctor McCoy of Borg.Dammit,Jim.I'm a doctor non an assimilator!"

"I am Bjorn of Borg.You volition lose this match.Resistance is futile."

Might I add: "I am Jimmy Wales of Borg. You will be assimilated. Click "edit this page" to begin.

Courageism [edit]

Courageism (kûr uj ism), n.

A twenty-offset century response to terrorism characterized by a resolution to take the risk of suffering terrorist violence rather than avoid that risk by appeasement.

From Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Courageism:

• Delete I didn't know Bush-league had a Wiki business relationship

From the Main Folio Talk Archives (ghosts) [edit]

I saw this in the Principal Page'south Talk Archives, and I was surprised that no-one had put it up:

Assist! [edit]

al0 ppl! i ave a gh0st in me h0use i saw it in ma bathr00m! i saw it, it w0z a little girl nd she luked cute... except she woz Dead!!! i had just got out da bath so nosotros had condensation on da tiles nd she rote Assistance ME! nd i screamed nd ran nd slammed the door shut just she merely went thru the wall followin me!!! shes behind me now! SHE SES Aid ME!! oh no help me ahhhhh...

You might find our article on ghosts useful. Sum0 23:20, 4 November 2005 (UTC)

If, in this example, there are ghosts located inside the area in which you live, whom should you contact? :)--Sean|Black 23:59, 4 November 2005 (UTC)

Take the chavs discovered Wikipedia now? - Sensor 00:08, 5 November 2005 (UTC)

Please take a photograph of the ghost to illustrate our Ghost article (be sure to ask her permission first). — Noesis Seeker দ 03:28, v November 2005 (UTC)

You don't have to enquire permission if she died in the USA prior to 1927, or if she was an employee of / murdered by an evil conspiracy involving the U.South. Government. — Johantheghost 16:55, 8 November 2005 (UTC)

Well,the future tin hold anything from

AN AREA OF DISTURBED WEATHER IS Start TO Show SIGNS OF ORGANIZATION

to

WINDS OF INCONCEIVABLY CATASTROPHIC HURRICANE GODZILLA Reach SUPERSONIC SPEED...HURRICANE HUNTER Aircraft LOST Later REPORTING EXPLOSION OF DROPSONDE IN Fundamental VACUUUM...PRESIDENT ORDERS EVACUATION OF CENTRAL AND EASTERN TIME ZONES...Well-nigh OF FLORIDA Will BE UNDERWATER BY THE TIME YOU READ THIS...IT'S THE Finish OF THE WORLD...THAT'S ALL FOLKS!--Louis East./le@put.com/12.144.5.2 22:58, 27 October 2005 (UTC)

Now that we've got our picayune squeamish give-and-take out of the way, hopefully... User:Thousandsons has, on his user page, a annunciation that he'south a member of the Crips -- a criminal street gang, by California's definition, and I'thou sure by many other jurisdictions'. The question is -- is there a policy confronting such a declaration on a user page? If then, what might be an appropriate action to accept about this? --Nlu (talk) 07:06, 21 March 2006 (UTC)

IMO harmless until he starts trolling. NSLE _(T+C) at 07:fourteen UTC (2006-03-21)

If he starts dealing drugs on out-of-the-mode talk pages, or does a bulldoze-by shooting of firm, and so call the cops. Otherwise, treat him like any other user. --Carnildo 09:22, 21 March 2006 (UTC)

Hmmm... This user has both ruddy and blue on his user page. Maybe he's just a part-time Crip, or was placed in a position in the organization through a temp-agency. He probably merely does clerical piece of work, or possibly he logs minutes in Blood beatdowns. --Jeffrey O. Gustafson - Shazaam! - <*> 09:53, 21 March 2006 (UTC)

Nowadays: Ice Dogg, Uppercase lEtTa AlTeRnAtA, Madd Hamsta, Masta Bater

Apologies: Eastward-Z Vauxhall Driver

Secretary: Thousand Sons

1. Beatdown productivity downward by 12% on terminal month. Madd Hamsta to look into. Suggested this may exist a temporary blip resulting from the recent shift of focus from 'critical' to 'lyrical' beatdowns.

two. Ice Dogg complained that Upper-case letter lEtTa AlTeRnAtA had owed the crack kitty $2.67 for two months. AlTeRnAtA replied that Dogg could "stuff it up his ass in pennies". A full and frank exchange of views was held.

3. Full and frank commutation of views aborted due to running out of bullets.

4. Mad Hamsta to guild more bullets.

5. Any other business organisation: Masta Bater questioned the long-standing ramble policy of "Bros before hos". Argued that this was unrealistic, and that especially fine hos should surely take precedence over some particularly fronting bros. Agreed to form a sub-committee to research how fine a ho needs to be. Members and budget to exist decided later on.

Next meeting will be 28th March 2006 if anyone is withal alive. Calendar will be posted with a spraycan on the side of the Church of St Gareth of Glitter. --Sam Blanning (formerly Malthusian) (talk) 10:44, 21 March 2006 (UTC)

From Lewis Carroll photo caption [edit]

Rogue Jello [edit]

Rogue Jello is when a gelatin desert, about commonly Jello, 'eludes' the individual attempting to consume it past leaping from the utensil, such as a spoon, fork, spork, or in some circumstances, the hand of the consumer. Upon 'escaping' the Jello will fall to the tabular array, lap of the consumer, or the ground. If the Jello is non consumed, and instead thrown away or been tending of it has 'succeeded'. But if it is the consumed, by a pet or animal or person, the escapee has failed.

The True da Vinci Code: The da Wiki Code [edit]

In the book The da Vinci Code, Dan Brown suggests that you lot can outline an G in the painting of The Last Supper:

File:LastSupperM.jpg

The presence of the 1000 is dubious at best. A much clearer letter tin be outlined:

File:LastSupperW.jpg

Equally whatever historian volition tell you, the W stands for Wikipedia. Leonardo da Vinci foresaw this corking online encyclopedia, affectionately known in Italian as "da Wiki". It has been suggested that the code for Wikipedia is based on some of da Vinci'southward plans for a mechanical freely editable encyclopedia that would have, at the fourth dimension, been the size of vii football fields.

Taco Bell Monster [edit]

Ane of the few natural pictures of a TBM

The Origins of the Creature

There are few unexplained mythological beasts left in our modern world, and the Taco Bell monster is one of them. It is referred to by many names (e.grand: T.B.M or The Horror From Beyond the Border), the most frightening being the one given by the native population that inhabits the lands of northern Mexico which it roams: El Diablo de Las Granjas. The name commonly used in the Us (Taco Bell Monster) is derived from the simple fact that all the meats needed to make the chalupas, quesadillas, etc. of Taco Bell (beef OR chicken) are derived from this unmarried organism. Therefore, it has a positive connotation and has endeared itself to Due north American hearts.

A More than Sinister Nature?

However, the Mexican proper noun (translated 'Devil of the Farms') implies that the animate being has a more sinister nature that those north of the border are oblivious to. While we have no credible sources of the creature'due south truthful behavioral patterns, attention must be paid to these claims of the supposedly violent or unsafe animal. It has replaced the Chupacabra as the more than modern scourge of Mexico, its legend existence constantly whispered throughout the state.

A Vital Link in History'south Chain

The animal is thought to have lived for more than millions of years in its native home, and fossil bear witness supports that the cow/chicken hybrid has indeed been effectually for a very long time. While seemingly insignificant, the beast has played many important roles in world history. During the Siege of Tenochtitlan in 1519, these animals are said to take fought alongside the Aztec warriors to try to dispel the conquistadors, led by Cortés, from their shores. A touching memoir was left by one warrior that opens our eyes to the bail that developed between man and beast during this cracking battle:

"And the Diablos, they ask for nothing in render for their services. I feel they are only as pasisonate as I in defending my homeland. They attack the white men with fury such that I accept never seen before....when one falls in boxing, a slice of myself dies along with it because I feel that they are the apotheosis of the Aztec Spirit, that we volition fight to the expiry and with all our resource to dispell these murderers from our nifty metropolis"

A Turbid Future

There is no dubiousness that the animals have helped the Mexican people in the past, but as of late they have manifestly turned on their onetime marry and go a renegade species. What acquired this is unclear, just the mass slaughter of these animals to supply the Taco Bell'southward demands may be a contributing factor.

The T.B.M has been mass-hunted to see the demands of the U.S., and so its numbers are declining every solar day. Once proud herds of these indigenous and majestic beats have been reduced to small family groups, and no 1 if sure how long this animal tin continue to exist, with Taco Bell existence such a popular eating place.

A Ray of Hope Some people have taken up the T.B.M cause and are fighting for its conservation. While it is uncertain just how much activists can do to help, its never a bad thought to try. Maybe ane twenty-four hours the Taco Bell Monster tin can return to being the proud species it once was....only fourth dimension will tell.

From WP:BJAODN primary page [edit]

Hi. I like rusty penis.

From Paris Hilton [edit]

The factual accuracy of part of this article is disputed.

The dispute is about Paris being a existent extra or vocalizer .

Please see the relevant discussion on the talk page.

Poorly congenital rocket bus [edit]

Poorly Built Rocket Bus are pioneers of eggplant cadre and consist of Jamster (on bass and programming) and Telemechanicomnicon (on 'vocals').

Nigh of the songs are formed in 20 minute periods where ane member yells out a sentence and a rhyme is idea up afterward to class a couplet. Near of the basslines are 'all over the place' and are based effectually a skip rhythm, which gives a 'skip' feel of leading into the next role of the song.

Their lyrical themes are ghosts, monsters, fish, ocean monsters and all kinds of waterfowl.

This is a quote from their song "Improbable Love Story", which was started when Jamster said "He was a chilling ghost" to which Telemechanicomnicon answered "She was a slice of toast!"

A doctor or a plumber is the one that you betroth. In fact, just ally Mario considering I hear he's both."

The band plans to write a full length opera chronicling the life of Voltar, who slays a machine made upwardly to look like a dragon, which gain to drive off the stage in defeat.

From Myers Park High Schoolhouse [edit]

The Bathrooms [edit]

SC - (New Wing) - Considering this is in one of the newer buildings its bathroom is better furnished and has more than overall entreatment. Nice tile on the floors and walls make it easy to clean, which it frequently is. The "push" faucets in for the sinks are certainly a nuisance but can be speedily mastered after years of feel.

          1 Men's, 1 Women's          4th Overall (great size, location, and cleanliness make it i of MP's top 5)        

(Onetime Wing) - These bathrooms bear witness a significant corporeality of crumbling and what seems similar less attending to cleanliness. About doors close and lock making them still somewhat manageable which is understandable because they are the closest bathrooms to the Cafeteria

          2 Men's, 2 Women's          7th Overall (location is very mutual, but for some reason information technology gets less attention than it deserves)        

S Building - The but knock common to these bathrooms is availability. Although there are 2 for each gender (i on each floor), each bathroom only has 4 stalls (or combination of stalls and urinals), making for frequent lines. New to 2006 are the replacement of the old "push" faucets making them much more user friendly. Considering of the proximity to classes, it is an absolute necessity that these are kept absolutely clean - and the custodial staff does then amazingly.

          2 Men's, 2 Women's          fifth Overall (although frequently clean and new, lower its appeal)        

LA Building - An obvious artifact from the older campus. The entire LA building has 1 bathroom for each gender. Being the link from the lower campus to the upper campus, the LA building has the well-nigh traffic per minute between classes of all the buildings. If a pupil hopes to drop trow in the classic language building, he or she should arrive quickly! Lines are known to be normally over 4-five people long for the Men and easily reaching 10 for the women. All time records include 11 for the Men during the PSAT of '02 and 16 for the Women between Last Exams '04. Again, because so many people constantly use these restrooms, they are given much attention but are also trashed adequately quickly.

          ane Men'southward, 1 Women's          8th Overall (nearly usually used and it shows)        

CB Building - Office of the lower campus, this edifice has two stories merely just one squatspot for each Men and Women. Cached in the upper level like a cave, the lack of lighting can often resonate the aforementioned aura. These bathrooms commonly have technical malfunctions including broken flushers and broken faucets. Because they never have paper towels, information technology is obvious that the staff doesnt pay this 1 an adequate amount of attention.

          1 Mens', ane Women's          9th Overall (grossly nether sized but relatively make clean considering the traffic)        

Math Building - The butt of all bathroom jokes. This place is a mess. Doors that dont shut or lock, papertowel dispensers older than Mr. Eisenmann, and the retentivity of the $.25 a accident incident of '04, all taint this hole. Given that the Math building isn't one of the nicer buildings, it'due south bathrooms completely shame the Subject area of Numbers. The location relative to the entrance to the building also create mass hysteria when lines begin to accumulate out each door. The Math's Can is notorious for existence a place to not spend more than 90 seconds.

          1 Men'south, ane Women'southward          13th Overall (horrid smelling, rust encompassed, and completely inadequate)        

Vocational, Technical, Physics- The residual of the lower campus each bring up the residuum of the bottom iv ranking just meliorate than Math considering each gets considerably less utilize than #13. The technical building's restrooms are quaint two-seaters, which can cause major log-jams if closer bathrooms aren't used. The Vocational Building could easily be worse than Math building if it was more unremarkably used. Overall it lacks the facilities (two person per bathroom), cleanliness, and useful appliances (ie mirrors). Physics, which falls between CB and Vocational, is the last of the old campus and although it's conspicuously dated an well overdue for a facelift, information technology is kept well stocked and lacks near traffic. All of the lower campus could deal with a few adjusted screws and fixed doors but overall if you lot are in the lower campus, you tin can definitely notice a personal throne.

          one Men's, one Women's (each)          10th, 11th, 12th (old, just not as ordinarily used equally others)        

Auditorium - Not to be confused with the performing arts edifice, this entrance to MP'due south auditorium has some of the cleanest bathrooms. Placed on either side of the entrance, information technology is essential that these get thorough cleaning before and after each outcome held on the stage. Because not many classes are held in the auditorium itself, the doors are often locked to the entrance making these bathrooms highly inaccessible during school hours. If one were to input much free energy into his task, he would definitely be rewarded with privacy comparable to abode.

          i Men's, 1 Women'south          tertiary Overall (Privacy and well kept)        

Auditorium - Performing Arts Classes - Where the chorus, theatre, band, and orchestra classes are held, this buildings bathrooms have seen much worse. Lines can accrue in the 4 stalled, onetime-way restrooms, just because it is more or less reserved for 3 classrooms, likewise long of a wait is uncommon. The sinks work well and the bathrooms are constantly stocked with necessities.

          1 Men's, 1 Women's          5th Overall (The highest whatsoever old campus building could get, it is a smashing case of attention causing comfort)        

Gym - These bathrooms are much more than like rooms. Huge, spacious areas inside are very accomodating for large crowds. Because people from outside the schoolhouse's staff and student trunk run across these restrooms, they are clean and stocked. Full mirros, "turn on" faucets, and the ability to hold 10 people brand these divine. Much similar the Auditorium, the entrance to the upstairs facilities is often kept locked during school hours making information technology difficult to go to but well worth the effort.

          1 Men's, i Women'due south (Each huge)          second Overall (New building style, constant attention to cleanliness, and high privacy)        

AG Edifice- The assistants and guidance building truly brings meaning to the word "throne." Although it is right off of the hall from the front office to the attendance office, these spots are scarcely used. This can be attributed to the consideration that the primary citizens of the AG building are staff members who have access to staff bathrooms. The public facilities show sanitation equal to that of dwelling. Clean seats, warm h2o, and mopped floors all reverberate the lack of use the edifice's restrooms receive. Well worth the iv minute hike from almost anywhere on campus.

          ane Men's, 1 Women'southward          1st Overall        

-TC '07

From Dobigh [edit]

This page is stupid and cannot exist displayed (¿[_]§'][' ][_lX3 ¥°µ) The folio you are looking for sucks and is currently unavailable. The Web site might be experiencing technical difficulties, you may need to adjust your browser settings or it might suck. Alternativley, you lot may need to accommodate your monitor or information technology volition probably blow up.

---

Delight try the following:

Click the Refresh button, or smash your computer with a large hammer. (preferably a sledge hammer) If you lot typed the page address in the Address bar, make sure that it is spelled correctly, you stupid idiotic moron. To cheque your connection settings, open up case with a screw driver then, fill with gasoline. Now have a match and proceed to ignite. The settings should friction match those provided by your local crazy arsonist (LCA) administrator and Cyberspace service provider (ISP). Considering your Network Administrator is an idiot, Microsoft Windows can examine your network and automatically screw everything up. If you would similar Windows to screw everything up, click Spiral everything upwardly. Otherwise if you lot are getting really mad now, y'all could endeavor to launch a nuclear flop - this can easily be done by any teenager with an Internet connectedness. If yous are a hippy or a religious amway salesperson, yous could just be a stupid idiot, or you could just be incredibly crap - yous need to shoot yourself and will your estate to Beak Gates. Some sites require Windows to suck more than normal. Click the Windows carte and then click Windows suck rate to determine what strength "Suck" you have installed. Other sites accept more than crap than others. Click the Windows menu then click Internet rubbish charge per unit to make up one's mind how much "crap" you have installed. If you are trying to reach a secure site, make certain you are not running Windows. (You Fool - you lot probably already accept a virus) You need to click the My Computer menu, and then right click Drive C:. On the Menu select "Format". Click the Dorsum button to try another link.

Cannot detect server or DNS Error Cyberspace Exploder

From Cat in the Hat [edit]

Before you beginning... [edit]

Read the articles Hoenn, Sootopolis City, Gyarados, Natu, Porygon and Safari Zone. At present, read this weird affair! TTV (MyTV|PolygonZ|Green Valley) 23:xvi, 4 November 2006 (UTC)

The vandalism [edit]

Dr. Seuss is transfered to Sootopolis Metropolis, where a bunch of cats push Dr. Seuss down a cliff. So he lands inside water where a Gyarados is nearly about to consume him whole until Pookeyman captures it. And then Dr. Seuss is free for a while ... and then he appears in the nighttime, touching peoples faces. So he touches that kid who said Sonic Riders was for kids races and that kid gets freaked out and calls the bolice! "THIS IS BOLICE!!!" the bolice said and the police sent Dr. Seuss to jail until he came back to say "I will bear on your face! And when the moonlight leaves and the dawn settles, you will know you've been visited!" to people. Then ane night, when he was trying to go to Blue Kirby's business firm, Magna Centipede came maxim "MAGNA BREAKOUT CENTIPEDE!!!" and scared him abroad. Dr. Seuss tried to call for help but then Sonja, Jess, and Hawkeye sent out their armies towards Dr. Seuss. THEY SENT BOMBERS, NEOTANKS, AND ROCKET LAUNCHERS AT DR. SEUSS!!! Dr. Seuss was shot some but then chased more than by them and Magna Centipede. Then a few Natus came. Since he wasn't nigh, merely was still a pain, Natu all the same wanted to impale people. Natu told Dr. Seuss to go to the Safari Zone up in Hoenn and gave him a bike and told him how to use information technology. Dr. Seuss went to Safari Zone withal while existence chased by Magna Centipede, Eagle, Sonja, and Jess. Then Dr. Seuss concluded upward in Safari Zone. When Dr. Seuss went to Safari Zone and then the Axbot appeared singing a lame Lumberjack song which the Missile launcher instantly destroyed. Then Xatu appeared yelling out "I R SNIPE UR HEAD OFF!!!" and Dr. Seuss was severely injured afterwards. Black Mage tried to announced but Magna Centipede told him no and to tell him to try it later. Magna Centipede and so grabbed Dr. Seuss and told him to get to the nearest T Copter and "to get to Heaven" or be killed once and for all. Dr. Seuss decided to become to the T Copter when the T Copter bought Dr. Seuss to Sly Cooper section, where there were strangely lots of Porygons everywhere. Then Sly Cooper said "LAME Animal CHARACTER!!! YOU DIE!!!" and then Sly Cooper ran over Dr. Seuss with his Porygon!!! Cat IN THE HAT PWNED!!! Absurd CHARACTERS WIN!!!

From Your wing is open up [edit]

Antarctica [edit]

From Bible [edit]

{{spoiler}}

Sockpuppetry taken to a whole new level... [edit]

revision

Note: in commemoration of this absurdity, the originator created a new sockpuppet. He has constitute petty reason to actually utilise it, though.

From Veni, Vidi, Vici [edit]

"Vidi, vici, veni" describes a good night out

From {{uw-vandalism4}} [edit]

This is your last alarm. The adjacent fourth dimension you vandalise Wikipedia, you will be shot.

Logic Argument [edit]

A classic example of the argumentum ad effwordium, from this edit:

Tom: "OK — I'll show I'yard English — I speak English so that proves it".

Bill: "But Americans and Canadians, among others, speak English too. You have committed the parcel-deal fallacy, assuming that speaking English and being English don't always go together. That means you are not English".

Tom: "Fuck you, Pecker. Seriously."

A after edit includes:

Bill: "Okay. My logic says yous've got a raging hard on."

Tom: "That's right, Nib. Intendance to suck it?"

Bill: "Y'all bet, Tom. You bet."

From Oxymoron [edit]

This article appears to contradict itself. Delight see the word on the talk page.

From Korea Train Express [edit]

Now that'south what I phone call a Seoul Train.

From Hyperinflation in Republic of zimbabwe [edit]

The superlative month of hyperinflation occurred in mid-November 2008 with a rate estimated at 79,600,000,000% per month. This resulted in Usa$ane condign equivalent to the staggering sum of $Z2,621,984,228,675,650,147,435,579,309,984,228.

Annotation: The actual effigy was US$one to Z$ii,621,984,228 after redenomination. (Before redenomination, this number may have been accurate.) However, the 79.6 billion percent inflation rate was indeed authentic.

The Memory of Your Mom Reading You the "Cat in the Hat" Each Night Is Called ________ Memory.

Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Yet_more_Best_of_BJAODN

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